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Monthly Archives: January 2013

             pray for me, for i am so helpless and alone
                                       from prayer to saint jude, patron saint of lost causes

                                      under a veil of medicines and labored breathing,
                                      shades cinched in, no splinter of streetlight

                                      labored breathing, tongue wheeze, thoughts
                                      a veil of sickness

                                      i felt the mattress shaking, bracing my arms
                                      on the padding, holding it down. it was imaginary—

                                      the mythology of california; a half-dream,
                                      earthquakes rising from a sleep fever,

                                      rising from a warm tongue of syrups,
                                      tremors that were figments, made up,

                                     the company i had then, when calling
                                     out for lost causes.
            

as my 30-day practice, i’d like to write a poem in response to (maybe sometimes as an interpretation of) a line of a different prayer from a different saint each day. this is me trying to reconnect to/reevaluate/challenge/garner multiple meanings from/etc my catholic upbringing and the sorts of rituals i learned to internalize but later denounced. one hope for this exercise is that it’ll give me some material and/or a jumping off point for my next writing project, which i want to be an exploration of catholicism, lgbtq identities/politics, class, guilt, community rituals, place, etc.

i wasn’t the best at being consistent with this tracking-progress project, but i’ve decided to make it easier on myself. part of a class i’m taking called corporeal mercies and the queer poetics of embodied call and response invites us to create a 30-day praxis, in which we create a fifteen-minute daily writing ritual consisting of a call, which we use as a jumping off point for a quick poem (response). 

to keep up with updating this thing, i’m going to post my daily writing ritual (unless too saucy for public readership).